Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Conquering the Obnoxious

I’ve been talking about what to do when someone asks you to crochet something for them...
how do you ask for compensation and get what you are worth,
are there times when should you do it for free,

Now I’ll deal with those folks we would rather not talk to at all.

Someone once complained that her cousin was so selfish that she demanded the crocheter 'invest in a pattern, so it could be made for the cousin free of charge'...

ok, so these types of folks really do need a whack upside the head, or a reality check at the very least.

However, if one of my cousins had demanded I buy an expensive pattern and make the project for them... I would be tempted to make the very thing she asked for and donate it to the auction at our family reunion.

I would make a big deal of asking her, 'is this what you wanted?' and gleefully explain that it is my donation to the auction... that way, if she truly wants it, she will have to bid on it.

If it is truly stunning piece, others will run the bid up... if no one but her wants it, I'd run the bid up, and back out when you get her to her top bid.

No, I haven't had to deal with cousins like her... ;-)

Yes, this is Passive-Aggressive at its worst, but these types of people can’t be dealt with rationally or logically.

If your family doesn’t have an auction at their reunion, you can donate your piece to another charity auction.

Tell the obnoxious cousin that you thought the piece was so nice, and could truly be a big money maker for your chosen charity. Thank her profusely for convincing you to buy the pattern and work it up, and include the date the bidding closes, so she could bid on it, too!

Hopefully, she will get the idea that she was was rude and hateful for making such a demand... unless she is a true narcissist, and believes you owe her that project, because she is so special in this world... in which case... I would just walk away. You truly cannot reason with a narcissist. I digress.

I’ve heard more folks say that no matter what technique they used, they still had one person who persisted in wanting the crocheter to do a project completely for free-they won’t even pay for the yarn. I've had customers like this at craft shows.

These kinds of people like to use guilt trips:

  • this is stress management for you
  • this is a hobby
  • you do this while watching tv
  • I’m an important person in your life {hack cough, choke and puke... since when?! is the typical answer to this ploy}

For those folks, I offer to teach them to crochet, after all:

  • this could be stress management for you
  • this could be a hobby for you
  • you could do this while watching tv
  • I’m an important person in your life, & I’ll graciously and generously teach how you to crochet.
And then I have fun {she says maliciously grinning.}
I thrust yarn and a hook into their hands and 'genuinely' show them how to crochet.
After twenty minutes of them fumbling around, while I gracefully manipulate hook and yarn... then they either give up disgusted and appreciate my talent, or they are 'hooked' and I truly enjoy teaching them more.

As the Animaniacs are fond of saying: The Moral of the Story Is.... don’t discuss Money when someone asks you to crochet for them. Instead, let them buy the yarn and Barter with Time or some service they can do for you.

And if that doesn’t work, teach them to crochet.

© Angela ‘ARNie’ Grabowski 2008. All rights reserved. For more crochet fun, visit ChezCrochet.com
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1 comment:

Marny Fischer said...

LOL I like your thought processes!

You've put into my head that when someone feels entitled to my time and talents, then I am entitled to a double lobster dinner on their credit card.

Hmmm, now THIS might be something I can deal with. LOL p1, k2 - chain 204.